Tuesday, May 12, 2009

TRYING

I heard that she took my sister out for dinner
I was angry
I didn't think I was jealous
Too old to have those feelings, or so I'm told
I think I was tired of her actions
"Good girl! You get a treat!"
Only after she wins the praise of others
Only when strangers see her worth
Then she is something
"She deserves to go out," the father says
Thinking I'm green eyed
Jumping to conclusions
I do think she deserves her reward
But she is being conditioned
To salivate when the bell rings
And that is what frustrates me
That she can't just be rewarded for being herself
For being a "lovely" granddaughter
The father still thinks I am jealous
He hasn't moved past a stage
I lament to the other sister
She agrees
She says, "I think Grandma doesn't know I exist"
You can't say much to that
Strength not enough to answer
To state the truth
To affirm the truth
"You can be special to me if strangers care enough about you"
People who shouldn't matter as much
Being held in higher regard
I know I'll see her proud face
Nodding modestly
As she fishes for those compliments
So she learns even more that you are great

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